Any Takers?

I think the whole paparazzi trend is a bit scary. They literally stalk new moms to capture that first picture, which is then sold to magazines for millions(!) of dollars. Why is our culture so obsessed in the first place? New parents have to be super-controlling and make arrangements to sell the photos themselves just to avoid the chaos of going out in public for the first time surrounded by insanely greedy photographers.

Rumor has it that the first picture of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's new twins could fetch somewhere in the neighborhood of $15 million. Granted, they allegedly donated the $4.1 million they were paid for photos of their first child together to charity, but that is still completely outrageous. So one writer for MSNBC decided to detail just what that potential $15 million could buy for the average person. Here are your 36 choices, with my favorites in italics:

1. Health care for about 1,250 families of four for a year.
2. Approximately 12,500 tanks of diesel fuel for 18-wheelers (based on 300-gallon tank).
3. One worthless New York Yankee, and change (Carl Pavano makes $11 million).
4. About 1,875,000 bushels of corn.
5. Almost four Kobe Bryant forgiveness rings.
6. Approximately 75 three-bedroom homes in Stockton, Calif.
7. Approximately seven three-bedroom homes in Beverly Hills, Calif.
8. About 13,600 Apple laptop computers.
9. Five 30-second commercials during the next Super Bowl.
10. Approximately 7 to 15 blast-resistant vehicles for soldiers in Iraq, depending on size of the vehicles and how they are equipped.
11. About 220 new public-school teachers in the state of South Dakota — and that’s if you doubled the average salary for a teacher in that state, which is the lowest in the nation at roughly $34,000.
12. About 1,500 bottles of 1966 Domaine de la Romanee Conti Romanee St. Vivant.
13. Somewhere between 4.28 million and 7.5 million bottles of Charles Shaw, depending on the region.
14. One year of tuition, room and board, and books for 333 students to attend Ivy League universities.
15. A two-week supply of Plumpy’nut peanut food paste for about 2,142,857 malnourished children in Africa.
16. Angelina Jolie to star in your film, depending on the project.
17. Average weddings for between 300 and 750 couples, depending on area of the country.
18. Slightly less than one-third of the breeding rights to Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner Big Brown.
19. Roughly 11,540 seven-day Hawaiian cruises.
20. About 105,633 bottles of Viagra (90 pills in each bottle, 90 mg).
21. About 412 new firefighters in New York City.
22. About 349 prisoners kept behind bars for one year.
23. Approximately 7,500 babies provided with disposable diapers from birth through potty training.
24. One anchor for the “CBS Evening News” for one year.
25. The care and feeding of 15,000 dogs and 15,000 cats for one year.
26. The annual salaries for just over 88 U.S. senators.
27. Somewhere around 25,000 pairs of Jimmy Choo pumps.
28. About 2,500 Gibson Jimmy Page Signature Les Paul Custom guitars.
29. Approximately 20 cities hosting the Olympic Torch (with costs coming mostly from police overtime).
30. The training of 10 Air Force pilots.
31. Breakfasts for roughly 11,111,000 school children nationwide for one school year under the federal government’s School Breakfast Program.
32. One year of cable television for about 300,000 people.
33. Knee-replacement surgeries for approximately 882 patients performed in top-tier U.S. hospitals.
34. Knee-replacement surgeries for approximately 3,000 patients performed in top-tier hospitals in India.
35. Subscriptions to People magazine for about 131,578 new subscribers (based on 45 percent discount off the newsstand price).
36. Live-in nannies for 288 couples with newborn twins for one year (based on fee of $700 per week for one baby plus another $300 per week as a twin supplement).

Gosh, Bo and I will probably have to pay to have our baby's picture taken, then we will give it away for free! But if someone was willing to shell out the money, we could probably get something more exclusive arranged...