We Will Never Forget

"Only I can tell you the future before it even happens. Everything I plan will come to pass..." Isaiah 46:10

On September 10, 2001, New York City's beautiful skyline looked like this:

The next morning, this shocked the entire world when it happened:

And before the end of the day, that area that used to be the World Trade Center had now been renamed Ground Zero. It looked like this:


The ten year anniversary of the worst terrorist attack in U.S. history is today. I know that you will think of this as a very distant thing, that you didn't know anyone affected or even see the remnants of the damage. By the time you are old enough to visit NYC, you will probably see a very nice monument or visitor's center, probably covered with flowers and photos that seem out of place.

But when this happened, I was a college student confused about what the impact would be. I had friends that were sure we were going to war (we did) and that they would be drafted into the military (they weren't) and never finish school. I saw the news coverage from our campus center where students gathered and prayed in silence. We asked if anyone had a loved one there in NY, and thankfully no one that I knew did. Classes were cancelled. People left work and stayed home with their families. We all wondered if it would keep happening or if smaller cities would be the next targets. We thought about all the people that were starting off a day like any other, and out of nowhere, their whole world went up in flames and crashed into dust.

I don't write this to you to sound morbid or depressing, but we must continue to honor those that lost their lives that day. Not just the ordinary citizens, but the heroic firefighters who ran into a deadly situation with courage. The police and security workers that tried to lead people out calmly and never got the chance.

The outpouring of prayers and cries to God that day have probably never been matched in this country. I hope that we will consider that our greatest gift to the families still mourning, those who still battle nightmares and depression and emptiness from what they experienced that day. May God bless them and give them comfort. And may we always remember to be thankful, to say I love you, and to make each day one that we can look back on and feel satisfied.

"When they call on me, I will answer. I will be with them in trouble. I will rescue and honor them. I will reward them with a long life and give them my salvation." Psalm 91:15-16

The New Ground Zero Monument

How to Talk to Little Girls

This article has been floating around on the internet for the past week or so, but I was so touched by it that I wanted to make sure I included it on this blog for Cameron. I hope that I have personally learned something from it too.

"How to Talk to Little Girls" by Lisa Bloom

I went to a dinner party at a friend's home last weekend, and met her five-year-old daughter for the first time.

Little Maya was all curly brown hair, doe-like dark eyes, and adorable in her shiny pink nightgown. I wanted to squeal, "Maya, you're so cute! Look at you! Turn around and model that pretty ruffled gown, you gorgeous thing!"

But I didn't. I squelched myself. As I always bite my tongue when I meet little girls, restraining myself from my first impulse, which is to tell them how darn cute/ pretty/ beautiful/ well-dressed/ well-manicured/ well-coiffed they are.

What's wrong with that? It's our culture's standard talking-to-little-girls icebreaker, isn't it? And why not give them a sincere compliment to boost their self-esteem? Because they are so darling I just want to burst when I meet them, honestly.

Hold that thought for just a moment.

This week ABC News reported that nearly half of all three- to six-year-old girls worry about being fat. In my book, Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World, I reveal that 15 to 18 percent of girls under 12 now wear mascara, eyeliner and lipstick regularly; eating disorders are up and self-esteem is down; and 25 percent of young American women would rather win America's Next Top Model than the Nobel Peace Prize. Even bright, successful college women say they'd rather be hot than smart. A Miami mom just died from cosmetic surgery, leaving behind two teenagers. This keeps happening, and it breaks my heart.

Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. What's missing? A life of meaning, a life of ideas and reading books and being valued for our thoughts and accomplishments.

That's why I force myself to talk to little girls as follows.

"Maya," I said, crouching down at her level, looking into her eyes, "very nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," she said, in that trained, polite, talking-to-adults good girl voice.

"Hey, what are you reading?" I asked, a twinkle in my eyes. I love books. I'm nuts for them. I let that show.

Her eyes got bigger, and the practiced, polite facial expression gave way to genuine excitement over this topic. She paused, though, a little shy of me, a stranger.

"I LOVE books," I said. "Do you?" Most kids do.

"YES," she said. "And I can read them all by myself now!"

"Wow, amazing!" I said. And it is, for a five-year-old. You go on with your bad self, Maya.

"What's your favorite book?" I asked.

"I'll go get it! Can I read it to you?"

Purplicious was Maya's pick and a new one to me, as Maya snuggled next to me on the sofa and proudly read aloud every word, about our heroine who loves pink but is tormented by a group of girls at school who only wear black. Alas, it was about girls and what they wore, and how their wardrobe choices defined their identities. But after Maya closed the final page, I steered the conversation to the deeper issues in the book: mean girls and peer pressure and not going along with the group. I told her my favorite color in the world is green, because I love nature, and she was down with that.

Not once did we discuss clothes or hair or bodies or who was pretty. It's surprising how hard it is to stay away from those topics with little girls, but I'm stubborn.

I told her that I'd just written a book, and that I hoped she'd write one too one day. She was fairly psyched about that idea. We were both sad when Maya had to go to bed, but I told her next time to choose another book and we'd read it and talk about it. Oops. That got her too amped up to sleep, and she came down from her bedroom a few times, all jazzed up.

So, one tiny bit of opposition to a culture that sends all the wrong messages to our girls. One tiny nudge towards valuing female brains. One brief moment of intentional role modeling. Will my few minutes with Maya change our multibillion dollar beauty industry, reality shows that demean women, our celebrity-manic culture? No. But I did change Maya's perspective for at least that evening.

Try this the next time you meet a little girl. She may be surprised and unsure at first, because few ask her about her mind, but be patient and stick with it. Ask her what she's reading. What does she like and dislike, and why? There are no wrong answers. You're just generating an intelligent conversation that respects her brain. For older girls, ask her about current events issues: pollution, wars, school budgets slashed. What bothers her out there in the world? How would she fix it if she had a magic wand? You may get some intriguing answers. Tell her about your ideas and accomplishments and your favorite books. Model for her what a thinking woman says and does.

Hope for Haiti

Cameron,
Last week the island nation of Haiti was hit by a terribly destructive earthquake, measuring 7.1 on the Richter scale. As an already poverty-stricken nation, their buildings and homes were not made to withstand that kind of damage, so the most recent estimates say that 2 million people were left homeless and over 75,000 people died. To make matters worse, they were still experiencing major aftershocks this week, further shifting the rubble and debris while rescue crews are still searching for survivors.

I have been hesitant to write about this on your blog, mostly filled with happy photos and funny stories. But the reality is that this event has dominated my thoughts for the past week. I read stories and see horrifying pictures in the news, and my heart just breaks for the people in Haiti. I even have a dear friend, Crystal, who is living in Haiti while her husband works for the Embassy. I know they are safe and have even been forwarded a few emails that she was able to send her family, letting them know that she was desperately working at the Embassy to try and help with people's paperwork, food, sleeping situations, and eventual evacuation efforts. She said she was happy to help with some adoptions of Haitian children to go to American parents, which may be one of the only bright spots of this disaster. At least some children are being allowed to join their new families in an expedited manner now that so many buildings and documents have certainly been destroyed.

What I want you most to know about this situation is that God still loves the people of Haiti and is watching over them. When bad things happen, it is so easy for us to question God's motives, to think that he has abandoned us in our most difficult moments. But we as Christians are called to be his hands and feet to the people around us, so these moments are a reminder for us to spring into action. For us to share the hope of Jesus Christ with someone who has lost all other hope. To a mother who has lost her children, some clothes and a blanket may comfort her temporarily. A meal will fill her up for a little while. But the truth of the gospel will change her life for all eternity and help her see that our short lives on this earth are only the beginning if we know Jesus.

We have not watched all these events unfold and sat by idly. We chose to make a donation to an aid organization that we knew already had a presence working in Haiti. But mostly, the thing we can never give enough of is prayer. There are an endless list of needs, broken hearts over losses, frantic cries of panic from lost children. We pray that we will not forget their needs, which most certainly will take many years to help with. Even the presidential palace, hospitals and the lone airport control tower were destroyed.

Today and I am grateful for the health of our family, for our comfortable home and overflowing possessions. We have more than we could ever need. Lord, help me to be thankful for all the things you have blessed me with, and to be good steward of your gifts of money and time. Help me remember that since my life is not my own, I must be willing to follow your leading on where to go, to give, and to serve.