Seven Habits of Highly Effective Babies

...Or all the cute things that I want to remember you doing recently. Let's see:

1. Suck only on your left thumb. The right hand must be free to do other things, like shake your crab rattle or pull on your hair so it sticks straight up.

2. Once you are up on all fours, rock back and forth until you are exhausted and must flop back down on your tummy. There is not currently anything enticing enough to actually get crawling for. Maybe a cell phone, someday.

3. Pretend that you are only vaguely interested in eating your dinner until about halfway through the jar of food. Then, demand that mommy shovel it in your mouth as fast as possible and make impatient sounds in between bites. Just for fun.

4. In order to make Mommy fully appreciate cuddle time later, don't give in to it for now. Squirm as much as possible, especially when you are actually very tired. If Mommy tries to win by holding you closer, you can always head-butt her and ensure that she backs off.

5. Donate some of the clothes you have outgrown to Africa since Mrs. Danielle and Mrs. Lisa are heading there this week. This ensures that Mommy will definitely buy you more (big sale at Crazy 8! Woohoo!), and it is just a nice thing to do in the first place. There are lots of babies that will gladly wear them for a long time.

6. Drooling is an art. Think of it as an accessory to any cute outfit, and try perfecting a half circle shape of wetness on the front of all shirts and especially fancy dresses. Now that you have learned to pull off bibs, this should be an easy task at any time of day.

7. Books are fine for reading, but better for tasting. Try your best to grab a corner and insert it in your mouth before Mommy realizes. Board books should be specifically made to stand up to this rigorous enjoyment anyway. :)