How sure is sure....

I have my next doctor's appointment coming up this Friday. I think we are just doing a checkup, but then I should be able to schedule a sonogram appointment. It's the big one! Hopefully we will know if we are having a boy or girl soon!

But I told Bo last night that I have this fear - What if they tell us one gender, but they aren't really sure? What if we go crazy with planning and buying things, only to find out a few months from now in another sonogram that they were wrong?

When we went shopping the other day, we talked all about plans for the room, what things we would need to buy. I think I was dreaming excitedly and the prices were just swimming in Bo's eyes. He kept asking, "Do we really need ALL THIS STUFF?" Diaper bags, baby clothes, toys, books, strollers, wipe warmers... Our finances will be completely taken over. In a good way.

Sidenote: To any moms out there that are looking for a good book, I just read "Little Earthquakes" by Jennifer Weiner again. She also wrote "In Her Shoes" which was made into a movie with Toni Collette and Cameron Diaz. One of the top movies on my list. But this book (LE) is about four women and their stories of becoming mothers. It is funny, heartbreaking, and so true. I don't think I appreciated it as much the first time around, but I devoured it in three days this time. Two bottles up from this critic!

Dear Pants

To all my beloved ones, I am so sorry that this day has finally come. I just can't bear to see you all the time in my closet, knowing that I can't be with you anymore. It's not you, it's me. I am just getting too fat. I remember all the good times we shared. Especially you, Wide Leg Trousers. You always gave me the appearance of longer legs and a less curvy figure. How I will look forward to our reunion. But I take heart in knowing that you will be protected. The lovely plastic tub under my bed will protect you from dust and neglect. You will be close to me in at least one way. And I will be thinking of you and working toward the time when I can proudly show you off around town again.

But as for you, maternity pants, we are truly the most wicked of enemies. You are unflattering, unshapely, and quite frequently cheaply made. You just don't have what it takes. I have had enough of your sabotage in dressing rooms. I despise the way you make me feel like an unsuccessful shopper! But I will find a way to beat you. I will make my tailor my ally, and our combined forces will be too much for your polyester pompousness. And if I have to drag my husband shopping with me, so be it. What is one casualty in the search for a decent outfit? Target is on my side. We shall overcome!

Breaking and Entering

My friends Jason and Cara saw a whole different side of me last night. I dropped by their house to pick something up, and noticed that only one of their vehicles was in the driveway. I had already called both of their cell phones and left messages. So I knocked on the door, rang the doorbell, waited some more, knocked again, made eyes at the cat through the window.... And then I decided to do something incredibly weird.

I have to confess, I really had to go to the bathroom. And I have a key to their house. So I thought I would run inside and be out again in two minutes. Had they walked up thirty seconds sooner, I would have still been a normal person on the porch. But here's the sequence of events:

Me struggling with the key to open both locks. (Time elapsed - 20 seconds)
Opening the door and making sure the cat doesn't run out. (Time elapsed - 5 seconds)
Cara walking up the sidewalk and puzzledly saying, "Hey."
Me turning around so embarrassed and shocked and then having to explain why I am crazy enough to break into their house. (Time elapsed - 5 awkward minutes)
Them nicely letting me inside to use the bathroom and sit around and watch TV. (Time elapsed - next two hours)

That's some good friends!

Top Ten Things I Learned From My Mother

10. A little bit of makeup goes a long way.
9. Sunscreen is your friend.
8. There's no shame in saying no or asking for help.
7. HGTV and the Food Network can waste away hours of your time.
6. It doesn't cost a lot to look like a lady.
5. Newer and more expensive doesn't mean it is better. Things are just things.
4. Giving of yourself makes you wealthy, not poor.
3. Never stop learning and sharing it with others.
2. A good book is like a vacation.
1. Prayer can change everything.

Better than James Blunt

Since I sit in traffic for an hour every morning, I tend to occupy my time (while at a complete stop) with eating breakfast or doing my makeup. This morning, I finished putting on my eyeliner and glanced over at the big green work truck next to me. There was a very sweet man, probably in his forties, who smiled and said to me, "You're beautiful."

And my hubby tells me that all the time, but it seemed so sweet and spontaneous coming from a stranger. I wanted to get out of my car and go hug him. I smiled and self-consciously put up my mirror and fiddled with the radio station. But to that man, you don't know how much a girl needs to hear (or lip-read) that sometimes. Especially one who is getting chubbier by the day.

Millerade? Is that a new product idea?

Last night I stayed too late at the office and missed my yoga class, so instead I called Bo and told him we should just take Joe for a walk. So after scarfing down some cereal (we were both starving!) we suited up and got Joe on the leash. Sadly, I wear tennis shoes so infrequently that my dog assumes that they are put on specifically for his entertainment purposes. I come out with them in hand, and he starts jumping up and down and pacing in utter joy.

The funny part was what Bo decided was proper "walking attire." Now that he has to dress professionally for work, he usually changes into some shorts the minute he gets home and just wears his white undershirt around. Redneck Chic. Last night, he also decided that he wanted to unwind with a beer and at some unknown point in time to me, he purchased Miller Chill (the kind with lime flavor added). Gross. But he didn't have time to finish it all before we were ready to go for a walk.

So we are walking up the driveway, or should I say being dragged by a hundred pounds of furry excitement, and he is hurriedly trying to finish it. I laughed at him and told him how appropriate it was that he was chugging half a beer before we exercised. He agreed, and thought it was wiser to drink it slowly. As we walked.

I cannot tell you how hysterical it was to see us. Yesterday was the first time Bo looked at my stomach and said I am really starting to show, but I told him that walking next to him, my beer drinking leash-holder, people probably would just assume that I have a beer belly! We had such a good laugh. If only I could have found my camera!

Babies, babies everywhere!

Well, we have another family that has welcomed not one, but TWO new baby boys. Our friends Holly and Brian were doubly blessed with Miles Elias and Shane Avery one week ago today. The twins are healthy and happy. Mom and Dad have told us that they are sleep deprived but doing well!

Bo went to take them dinner last night and said he could not get over how small the boys were. I told him that six pounds is actually very healthy for twins because there is only so much room in there! That would be like me having a twelve pound baby.... Unbelievable. Holly, you are a trooper!

Peanut's New Friend Addison!

Congratulations to our sweet friends, Laura and Josh who welcomed a new baby girl to their family this past week. Addison Lane was born on April 21st and weighed 8 lbs. 3 oz. We hear they are all doing well (other than lack of sleep...) and we wish them many many blessings all the way in South Carolina!

Today

Dear Dad,
I miss you so much today. I wanted to just call and hear your voice. I feel sometimes that I want to have a conversation with you and just pretend that we are on the phone. But when I say the words out loud, it just makes it more real that you aren't here to hear them.

There still seem to be a lot of broken pieces left since that December. You were such a fixer, and I have a feeling that it is driving you crazy in heaven that you can't take these problems away for us. When you were gone, it's like our whole family got stuck on some deserted island. And sure, we have made huts and learned to fish since then. But we still keep wondering when we are just going to get rescued.

I wish so much that you were going to be here to meet your fourth grandbaby. I think it would mean alot to you to know that our possible little girl will have your name in some way since there are no more Haley boys. But then again, I know how special Ryan is to you and I know you had so much fun getting to do boy things. I can just picture those big rough hands of yours trying to delicately hold a tiny person again. Even though you didn't look it, you had such a gentle way with kids and they always just loved you. Nothing like sitting on Papa's lap and checking out his beard.

Anyway, I guess I just get the urge to talk to you every once in a while, and even though this is the most non-private way to do it, it makes me feel better to just get it out. I know you would be so proud of Bo and I, and know that we are going to work hard to be the kind of parents that we appreciated in ours. Really, Bo is going to be such a good Daddy. He reminds me of so many things in you. I just wanted to say that I love you so much and miss you every day. Especially today.

Surprises are Blessings Too

Just another reason I am not a big fan of Barack Obama:

From one of his rally speeches in Pennsylvania this past month as reported by Slate Magazine-

Obama said that when providing information about sex to his own daughters, "I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby." (http://www.slate.com/id/2190285/pagenum/2/)

I don't ever want my child to hear that some babies are a punishment to their mothers. Every child should be seen as a blessing, as a gift from God. I get a daily email devotional, and today's scripture was Psalm 127:3, "Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from him. (NLT)"

Every new life is a reminder of God's love and graciousness to us. A chance to begin again and see the innocence of life, the kindness and goodness that he intends for all of us to show eachother. There is no child born that was a mistake. There are certainly children born into horrible circumstances, but that does not make THEM horrible. There are families all over the world that wish they had a chance to love a child of their own, and I am sure they are just as disgusted as I was to hear the Senator's comment.