Today

Dear Dad,
I miss you so much today. I wanted to just call and hear your voice. I feel sometimes that I want to have a conversation with you and just pretend that we are on the phone. But when I say the words out loud, it just makes it more real that you aren't here to hear them.

There still seem to be a lot of broken pieces left since that December. You were such a fixer, and I have a feeling that it is driving you crazy in heaven that you can't take these problems away for us. When you were gone, it's like our whole family got stuck on some deserted island. And sure, we have made huts and learned to fish since then. But we still keep wondering when we are just going to get rescued.

I wish so much that you were going to be here to meet your fourth grandbaby. I think it would mean alot to you to know that our possible little girl will have your name in some way since there are no more Haley boys. But then again, I know how special Ryan is to you and I know you had so much fun getting to do boy things. I can just picture those big rough hands of yours trying to delicately hold a tiny person again. Even though you didn't look it, you had such a gentle way with kids and they always just loved you. Nothing like sitting on Papa's lap and checking out his beard.

Anyway, I guess I just get the urge to talk to you every once in a while, and even though this is the most non-private way to do it, it makes me feel better to just get it out. I know you would be so proud of Bo and I, and know that we are going to work hard to be the kind of parents that we appreciated in ours. Really, Bo is going to be such a good Daddy. He reminds me of so many things in you. I just wanted to say that I love you so much and miss you every day. Especially today.