We have had an emotional past few days and are starting to feel the wear of being pulled in many different directions. Your daddy has been home with me since this is his last week of time off before football starts on Monday, and I am thankful that he has faithfully taken care of shuttling Cameron and I all the places we need to go, while still keeping the house clean and watching over our finances. We have certainly eaten a lot of meals on the go lately, but we have lots of casseroles waiting in the freezer from your sweet Aunt Rachael.
Just a few days ago, we were so excited about your progress. Your color certainly looks so much better, and you seemed to be more alert and awake for feedings. You got to meet Mrs. Kim from Mommy's office, and she loved holding you so much that she probably would have stayed all day if we would have let her! Maybe you have a thing for dark hair because you just watched her so intently, like you were taking in our whole conversation. She gushed over how sweet and handsome you are, and I was in complete agreement. :)
Most of your test results have been positive, with your direct bilirubin count down to about an 8, which is half of what it was a week ago. Your doctors keep telling us that your liver is working hard to get it out of your system and that you just need more time. But we were quietly getting excited about the possibility of you coming home soon, even though no doctor had even brought it up. Daddy was determined to have your whole side of the house clean and ready for you, and we even bought an extra cushion to put in your carseat that will fit more snugly around you since you are still so small. Your new crib sheets even arrived yesterday, so your room is all ready for you. Here are a few pics of all your cute things:
 |
| Your special blanket made by Grammy with your cute monogram |
 |
| We just love seeing your name and thinking of you! |
 |
| Lots of books and toys for when you are bigger and ready to play! |
 |
| Your cute whale was painted by my cousin Brittney, and you will hopeful like to swing like Cameron did. |
 |
| Your fun mobile will hopefully distract you during diaper changes, little wiggle worm. |
Unfortunately, we got a call yesterday (Thursday) from a new doctor that will be assigned to you for the next week or so. He saw you for the first time on Wednesday and called to give us an update on where he thought the next few days were headed. Since he was the first doctor to ever call me, we were a little worried and were only about 5 minutes away from the hospital, so we waited to discuss things in person. He told us that he was starting a whole new round of tests for your liver, your blood counts and that you would be getting another blood transfusion that day. Though you had been progressing in a good way, he wanted to rule out as many things as possible that might be causing your body to still be fighting off bilirubin and destroying red blood cells. They even want to do an MRI of your brain to make sure that the bilirubin didn't cross over the blood-brain barrier (which is a very longshot and the test was ordered in your first days in the NICU and just hasn't been done yet). It was just a big blow when we were secretly hoping to hear good news.
I can tell that your daddy was just devastated, and I just kept trying to tell myself that you were born at just the right time, so we should trust that God has all your days planned in accordance with his purposes. I broke down on on Wednesday night after an exhausting day of running around and worrying over my work maternity policy paperwork. My doctor's office charged me $25 to have a doctor's stamp put on it (not even his real signature since he is on vacation) and initially told me it would take up to 10 days to get it back. Ridiculous. Of course I am anxious to make sure that I get a paycheck sometime soon and had just let myself get too tired and crabby. Your daddy was very thankful that our sweet friend Kara let Cameron hang out at their house for the evening so we could be with you at the hospital and she helped me cry and vent for a little while when we were all back home.
Today, I am resting at home while Daddy took Joe Dog to the vet. He has had a suspicious limp and needed a checkup this month anyway. Your big sister got to have a slumber party with our wonderful friends, the Gilbreaths, and we are greatly looking forward to Grammy coming back to stay with us tonight for a few more days. I am anxious to head up the hospital again to see you soon. We miss you so much and are thankful for every sleepy smile, every tiny finger and toe, and every snuggle we get to share with you.
Love,
Mama
No comments:
Post a Comment