When Life Gets Away From You

Cameron,
Mommy is sorry. Sorry that I let things run away with me sometimes. That I let work drain my fuel tank, and then I feel terrible that I don't seem to have anything left for you and Daddy other than a short fuse. I am very ashamed of some of the things that I said this weekend. I feel like I say things out of anger and frustration and later can't believe that I did.

And this morning, I get to work and see my memory verse notepad turned to Ephesians 4:2. "Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love." And that is definitely not what I have been doing.

There is no excuse for my behavior. I am going to work hard this week to show you and Daddy that I love you and know how important you are. That no amount of stress or sleepiness or moodiness should allow me to be ugly. Because you are so full of joy and sweetness and laughter that it just runs over.

Sometimes I truly see our garden as a metaphor for life. You have to be deliberate with the things that you allow to take root and which ones you need to pull up. It takes dedication to keep watering the blooms and pruning things in the right shape so that they grow the right way. And when you let things run away without supervision, you turn around and are overtaken by weeds. That's how I feel this morning. It's time to put on my gloves and get dirty again. I want this garden to produce only things that are lovely and enjoyable to everyone.

And I am hoping that Daddy will read this and take the last part of my memory verse to heart too. I could sure use some of his love to make allowance for my faults. And I think this means he is getting a really awesome Father's Day gift.

All my love,
Mama